I walk the rain soaked streets of East Vancouver wearing sunglasses. It's the only way to bear the lingering stench of miserable mistakes of my youth that hang in the air with memories at every turn like the piss stained pants of an alcoholic.
I can email and text while I walk my dog and spend some time memorizing the muzak loop waiting for Bell Customer Service to sort out my jugular. The trees that line these streets are old, and I remember I've walked this way before.
I consider all the leakage of my mobile bill which still doesn't give me enough usage to not incur fees. I remember a time when I didn't regard airtime. The data and texting is disguised as unlimited but it hikes my fees significantly for the privilege. My 80 page phone bill listing all of the texts they don't reveal makes me wonder if the unlimited privilege matched my usage or my usage matches my allotment. The same thing happened with my first cell phone bill 15 years ago. It's a steep and expensive learning curve sometimes.
All the while that I carry all of these mobile fees on my gypsy back my biggest struggle of the past few months has been lack of connectivity. The true luxury of life seems to be in accomplishing a space where one can print scan and email in one fell swoop. The thought of sacrificing my services, of trimming my excess? The idea seems daunting to even consider. Being unconnected is a major depletion.
To not be able to pick up my phone and ask it any question I may have conjured. The fact that I have access to the 400+ people I have made contact with over my 5 years living in Facebook from all walks of my past and present- all in the palm of my hand at any time of day or night anyplace within a sniff of a satellite. Any address, location, or service I may need provided by Google Maps with directions, a panoramic view of the street, photos people have taken, and reviews blogs votes likes and dingbats, all by our great cataloguers of the universe: godggle
In the face of financial failure and even with the fortitude of foresight, it's this ability I won't abandon. At any cost.
My intricate text conversations that have become facets of friendships that connect me to people in a new way, a new language. To have to budget that time?
Entertainment at every red light; every bus stop. Touch, toggle or keyboard? All at once? No problem. Try doing that on a $30 Nokia. I've researched and arranged entire shoots while riding shotgun (and getting roadsick). I can skype while I'm driving (not recommended). All of this was just science fiction when I got my first email address a dozen years ago.
I don't mean to be offensive towards those who truly cannot afford this extravagance. Somehow in all of my financial mess, this expense has become truly defined as essential. I work in media. If I couldn't scan your barcode what would that say of my abilities to problem solve software that you edit your beloved project on? I spend as much if not more money on communications than I do on food.
And I can't see any other way. What has become of me?
