Without

“When it looks as though you’ve lost everything, take a hard look around because you are in a unique position to learn something.” Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

To be without. To have not. Every moment is defined by need in the essential sense of the word. What is it that you have to have right now, and only now, or in the very immediate future? I need salt. I can live without pepper. I can’t live without fresh flowers.

Blossoms: beauty in a pure essence. For it’s own sake. Not attached to ego or expectation, but with a glimmering hope it may have a chance to become fruit and begin to rot. None of which was important to the first human that gazed amazed at it’s vivacious form and colour. I will spend my last dollar on flowers, and flowers are free.

Everyone has their requirements in life. I don’t require a can opener. I am doing just fine with my 1 knife. I can not collect too many mirrors or vases. Candles. Plants. Television-less yet online. Today none of these possessions can matter- they need to be expendable. Abandon-able. Unattached to me.

Without is not a sad place as one may assume. It is a place of plentiful potential that one must choose to be in in order to remain. It brings with it the fat belly of Buddha, and requires great discipline.

Rain paints the industrial east side in a reflection of the pewter cloud that’s trapped above. Days have begun to model themselves after the trains, trucks and ships loading and unloading. The low cloud cover has made me short sighted. Somehow in finding the world simplified by necessity I’ve opened up the potential of shining a light into the fog. My backpack is light. The way forward is clear. The answer needed to ignite the nitris is also the first rule in Italian racing: never look back.

Creatively bursting at the seams, creative bruises make me flinch. I’m building a whole new team from chapter 1, ground up. It’s a team of 1 to start. We can’t build on mud and broken windows so we’ll have to excavate. That’s extremely painful when you’ve come to like the garden you’ve planted and the crazy animals that were once friends. If we don’t start on level ground everything will keep falling down, so it stands to be extreme. I’ve already dug the hole.

The Other Day on the West Coast < It's a new dawn, a new day, a new life